A Different Body
by Manami Nightray
Summary: "A-Axel!" I moaned. Axel ran his hands down my body. "I love you, Roxy." he whispered in my ear. "I love you too-" I stopped when I felt hands undoing my pants. I panicked, "Axel! Stop!" "What's wrong?" "I-I don't want you to see my body..." I didn't meet his eyes. "Why...Roxas?"
1. Chapter 1

_**IMPORTANT:**_

_**A/N: Hello! This is my first KH fanfiction so I'm sorry if the characters are off in any way! I will try to keep them close! :3 Also- this is going to be a transgender fanfiction! (Just a heads up) No rude comments! (Unless you are correcting me on something I didn't know) But PLEASE don't be mean about it! If you have any question or are confused- PM me or just say something in the review~ Thanks and I hope you enjoy! Also I'm sorry if there are any misspellings or anything like that… thanks!**_

Prologue:

Heavy breathing… my heart beats faster with every struggle.

'_I- can't breathe!'_

Panic rises in me.

'_I-I have to hurry! I have to take this off!' _I swiftly take off my shirt and release my binding on my chest. _'I can breathe now…' _I'm calmed down.

My doctor told me not to wear my binding to bed, but I can't stand not having it on. _'I hate this! My chest… my whole body! Why? Why was I born a girl?!'_ I always ask myself that… I wonder why God would do this to me, putting me in a body that I'm not supposed to be in.

I sit on my bed, my chest showing in the mirror across from me. I stare at my reflection. '_Why?'_

A tear goes down my cheek. I want to put my binding back on, to hide, but I'm afraid I will have trouble breathing again. I wipe my cheek and stare at my reflection a little more. The moon makes my room glow, making everything noticeable.

I stand, heading to my closet. I decided that I will put on just a hoodie. I won't have to see my chest or wear the binding. I slip on the hoodie and crawl back into bed. I have school tomorrow… I need to sleep. I look over to my clock- 1:30 am. Ok, make that today… I sighed, "Great… just great."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Before I went down stairs I my binding back on. Then the rest of my clothes: checkered hoodie, black jeans with black and white converse. I left my room smelling pancakes being cooked from down stairs. I sit down at the table, next to my older brother, Cloud.

Cloud's a good brother. I tell him everything… Sometimes during the night if I can't breathe, or if I'm worried about something, I can go to him. He always calms me down, and he supports my decisions.

Cloud looks at me- he can tell I had another breathing problem last night because of the bags under my eyes. I can never go back to sleep when that happens.

"Why didn't you come to me? I'm right across the hall."

"Cloud," I met his eyes, "don't start this… not today. I'm too tired to argue with you."

He frowned, "You aren't supposed to even wear that when you sleep!" he poked my chest.

I swatted his hand away, and turned to my mom. She flipped a pancake.

"Mom, what did the doctor say? About the surgery?"

"Well, he said said it will have to be in a month or so… maybe a little longer."

I smiled, "That's great! I hope it will be this month… or next month!"

'_I've been waiting for more than two years for this.'_

When I told my mom I wanted to be a guy, she didn't take it well… she yelled at me and told me 'you were born a girl!' Cloud already knew (he found me researching the surgeries and he asked questions) I explained everything and after a talk with my mom, he got her to calm down. My mom told me we had to take baby steps, and I was ok with that.

She let me cut my blonde hair, so it went a little above my ears, she let me get a bind. Then I asked about getting surgery. She said I had to pay for it. I've been saving for four years. I'm now sixteen and with all the money I got from my job, family, and savings- I'm almost there!

"Yep, my little girl wants to change…" even though she was letting me change my body it was still a touchy subject for her. She always wanted an older son and a younger daughter, so the son would look out for her. I'm not exactly the perfect picture. She still loves me and doesn't blame me for my decisions. Like Cloud, she support me.

Cloud then told mom bye and that we had to go or we would be late. I kissed my mom on the cheek and ran outside to Cloud's mustang.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"ROXAASS!" I walked into the classroom only to tackled.

"Sora! Get off me!" I pushed on his shoulders. He just sat on me, giggling.

"Riku, get your boyfriend off of me!" I glared up at Riku, who was snickering at us.

"Ok, Sora. You heard Roxas, get up." Riku tugged at Sora's shirt.

"Rikuu~" Sora whined.

"Sora, I will kill you if you don't get off me! People are staring!"

"Only because you're yelling~" Sora pouted, getting off me, then helping me up.

"Yea, yea… come on let's sit down." I walked over to my seat, setting my things down. I sat down with a huff.

As soon as the bell rang for first period the teacher walked in. He started talking about some stupid math equations.

'_His voice is annoying.'_

Like my brother and my mom, Sora and Riku are accepting too. I told them two years ago when I invited them to my house. They thought I was a guy when we first met. When it was time to sleep I took off my shirt, allowing them to see my binding. They didn't freak out like I thought they would have. They asked me something's and I explained. They have been my best friends since. And we're cool since I accept Riku and Sora's relationship.

**-Flashback-**

"_He guys want to come over to my house tonight?" I asked my two friends, Riku and Sora._

"_Sure!" They both seemed happy I invited them over, "Can't wait!"_

_-.-.-.-.-_

"_This has been really fun Roxas!" Sora smiled at me, pushing random buttons on the Xbox controller._

"_I'm glad!" I smiled and watched as Riku's player body slammed Sora's to the ground. They really like wrestling games…_

"_Yea, you are a really cool guy to hang out with." _

"_Thanks Riku." My door opened, showing Cloud, saying we should go to bed._

_Riku and Sora turned off the Xbox and started changing into what they brought to sleep in. 'they're not looking…I can take this chance and change really fast!' I thought, taking the ends of my shirt and starting to pull it over my head._

"_Hey Ro-"I heard Riku's voice stop. I hurriedly pulled my shirt back down to see Riku staring at me._

"_Y-yea…?"I asked, smiling like nothing just happened._

"_Why do you have that thing around your chest?" Riku raised his eyebrow._

"_Umm… well you see…"_

"_Huh? What are you talking about Riku?" Sora turned from where he was hunched over his bag._

"_Roxas has a bind looking thing around his chest. Were you hurt?"_

"_No…"_

"_What happened Roxas? Is it a secret?" Sora bounced to my side, "You can tell us! We won't tell!" Sora smiled._

_I hesitated, "I-I'm a girl…"_

"_Really?" Sora went wide eyed, "I would have never guessed!" _

_Riku stayed silent._

"_Riku, say something!" Sora whispered to him._

"_Why hide it?"_

"_Well… I'm not trying to hide it. I'm wearing a binding because I don't want to be a female, so I'm going to get surgery to become male. Do you hate me now?" I asked, looking down at my feet._

"_We would never hate you Roxas!" Sora hugged me._

"_But why aren't you freaking out?" I looked at Sora then Riku._

"_I don't care whether you are a boy or girl! You are my best friend!"_

"_What about you Riku?"_

_Riku sighed, "I have a family member that's transgender, so I don't care. I'm cool with it."_

"_So you will still be my friend?"_

"_Of course silly!" Sora giggled._

"_Thanks guys." I smiled._

**-End of Flashback**

When class was over, Sora and I left Riku to go to our next class.

"So, what did the doctor say?" Sora asked, dodging people in the hallways.

"He said it will be in a couple months or so~" I smiled.

"Roxas, that's great!" Sora hugged me. "We should celebrate!"

I chuckled, "We can celebrate after the surgery."

"Fine…"

We were almost to class when someone bumped into me, knocking my books out of my hands.

"Sorry!" I kneeled down, picking up my things.

"Watch where you're going, freak!" I looked up to see Seifer, one of the school bullies.

He picks on me because he knows my secret that I'm going to change my body. I don't know how he found out, but he's been bullying me ever sense.

"Why can't you just leave Roxas alone?"

"Shut up, fag!" he yelled in Sora's face.

"Why you-"

"Sora! Come on it's not worth a detention…" I pulled Sora away from Seifer.

"But Roxas…" Sora whined.

"No buts! We're going to be late."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

After school Riku and I were waiting in the parking lot for Sora. Well I was waiting for my brother. We were talking about our science homework when I saw a flash of brown, then Riku was on the ground with a loud thud!

"Riku!" Sora giggled, sitting atop Riku's stomach.

"Really Sora?" Riku sighed, sounding annoyed.

"I love~ you, Riku!" Sora kissed the silver headed boy's cheek.

"Get a room!" Cloud laughed from beside me.

"Hi Cloud!" Sora giggled more.

"Come on Roxas lets go home."

"Bye guys. See you tomorrow!" I got into Clouds car and shut the door.

My brother just sat there, not moving.

"What's wrong?" I asked putting my seatbelt on. "Aren't we gonna go?"

"Roxas… I saw Seifer, and what he did to you and Sora." He didn't look at me when he spoke.

"He just called us names, no big deal." I shrugged it off.

"It _is _a big deal, Roxas. He is bullying you! How long has this been going on?" He turned to me, frowning.

I turned away looking out the window. "Since he…" I mumbled the last part.

"Since he what? Did he touch you…?" I could tell Cloud was getting angry.

"No! Since he found out I want to change from a girl to a boy!" I yelled. I was now trying to hold back tears.

"Roxas…"

"I wanna go home!" I kept facing the window, not letting him see my face. He sighed and started the car.

We drove home in silence.

As soon as we got home I ran inside and slammed my door shut.

"Sweetie? What's wrong?"

"N-nothing mom…" I sniffled.

"Are you sure? Cloud said-"

"Nothing! Bad day at school is all… please go away."

"Ok, dinner will be ready shortly. I love you." I heard my mom pause and then head down stairs.

"Yea…ok." I whispered.

_**A/N: Soooo? How was it? I hope you liked it! And please review if you want more! :D **_

_**Thank you to:**_

_**RoxSor **_

_**Spookymickey**_

_**Thank you both for helping me!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Here you go~ I updated just for you guys! I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year! ;) Enjoy your present~_

"Roxas, wake up! You're going to be late for school."

I rolled over. "I don't want to go…"

Cloud opened my door, "Well you have to! You missed breakfast, so you'll have to eat at school."

"Ok, get out so I can get dressed!" I mumbled from under the covers.

"Alright, but hurry up! I'm meeting Leon and Zack before class." Cloud shut my door, leaving me alone.

I sat up and looked around. It's too bright outside… I pushed the covers off and headed to the bathroom to take a shower then get dressed.

-.-.-.-.-

"I'm hungry." I told Cloud once I got in his mustang to go to school.

"I'm not surprised. You didn't come down for dinner last night."

"Yea, I know… I fell asleep."

Cloud glanced at me. "Are you ok today?"

"So far yea, but I'm not looking forward to P.E." Cloud pulled into the school's parking lot.

"Do you want to skip class with me?" He smirked.

"You know I can't skip! Mom would kill me! Why are you skipping anyway?" I raised a blonde eyebrow.

"No reason… hanging out with Leon."

I rolled my eyes, "You guys should just get together already!"

I got out of the car and started walking to my locker. After lunch is when I have P.E. I was dreading it! I didn't want to go… luckily my school does their P.E. on alternate days! That makes it a little better for me. On the first week of school my mom told the principle (who told my gym teacher) about my… 'Situation', and he agreed to let me change in the bathrooms by the cafeteria.

A lot of people in my class think I'm a boy and I want to keep it that way… It'll just make things easier for me! Another thing I hate about that class is Seifer… he's in there! I'm always worried he's going to try something…. So far he hasn't!

-.-.-.-

At lunch I followed Sora to get our food. We went to our usual table by the window where Riku, Ventus, and Vanitas (Sora's older brother) were waiting.

"Hey, what's up Roxas?" Ven smiled, stuffing mashed potatoes in his mouth.

"Ven, don't talk with your mouthful!" Vanitas sighed at Ven, who was pouting at him.

"Nothing…don't really want to go to P.E…" I sat down in between Riku and Vanitas.

"Don't worry Rox, I'll be there for you, and so will Riku!" Sora smiled.

"Thanks Sora." I popped a fry in my mouth and smiled.

'_The bells going to ring soon…' _I stared at the clock.

"Is Seifer bothering you again?" Ventus asked, eating more potatoes.

"Yea, he bothered me and Sora yesterday…"

"I didn't see him in first hour." Vanitas commented.

"He could have skipped! I hope he isn't here, but I don't think I'm going to get that lucky."

The bell rang. _'Ugh!' _I got up, threw away my trash, and waited for Sora and Riku. We walked until we got to the boys locker room. "See you in a minute!" Sora waved, going into the room with Riku following behind.

I looked around making sure I was alone, then went into the girl's bathroom. _'Good, no one is in here!'_ I hurried into a stall and started changing. I unzipped my backpack, grabbing my shirt and basketball shorts for gym, I quickly put them on.

"Ok, I'm ready." I peeked out of the stall just in case someone else was in there, and ran out to meet Sora and Riku in our usual spot.

-.-.-.-

After a couple of minutes of talking with Sora, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to a blonde hair and blue eyed girl.

"Hey, Namine!" I smiled at her.

"H-hi, Roxas…." She blushed.

Namine has had a crush on me for a while… she doesn't know I'm a girl… I can't tell her, it would break her heart! She's a really nice person and I don't want to hurt her.

"So, what are you doing this weekend?" She asked, playing with the hem of her shirt.

"I'm going to Sora's house. Maybe play video games while I'm there. What about you?"

"Oh, Xion invited me to go shopping with her and her friend she just met."

I smiled, "That's cool. I hope you have fun!"

"Thanks." She turned redder.

"Namine!" She looked over her shoulder to see her friend Xion waving at her.

"I gotta go but I'll talk to you later!" I nodded, and she ran to Xion.

"Wow, she has it _bad_!" Sora giggled.

"Why are you hurting the poor girl, Roxas?" Riku teased.

I rolled my eyes, "Shut up. You know I don't want people to know!"

-.-.-.-

For warm ups we had to run. I have to run slow, or else I will have trouble breathing... thanks to my binding.

I jog a few laps, then walk the rest of the way around. I watch as Sora and Riku compete to see who the fastest runner is.

Coach Luxord blew his whistle. "Alright, today ladies are playing volley ball and guys basketball! Get where you're supposed to be!"

"Riku, do you want to be a captain?" Sora asked, poking his boyfriend's cheek.

"Sure. Who wants to be the other captain?" Riku looked at everyone.

"I will!" Seifer smirked. _'He's here?!' _

"Ok…"

Seifer picked one of his friends, Rai, and then he chose Pence and Hayner. Riku picked Sora, Terra, and me.

"Let's beat those guys!" Riku tried pumping us up for our little game.

"Wait, wait, wait!"

"What Seifer?" Riku sighed.

"Why is Roxas over here? He needs to go play volley ball with the girls~" He smirked, looking at me.

"No, Roxas is with us, Seifer!" Sora gave him a 'duh' look.

"You sure?" Seifer stepped closer to me.

"Positive," Riku stepped in between us. "Let's just start the game and get it over with!"

-.-.-.-

We were doing well, the score was 15-4. Sora just passed me the ball.

'_Come on, Rox! I'm almost to the basket!' _I dribbled the ball to the three pointer line. I was about to shoot, but someone behind me pushed me to the floor. I tried getting up but my arm wouldn't hold my weight. "Ow!" _'I must have fallen on my wrist…'_

"What the hell Seifer?!" Riku yelled, shoving Seifer away from me.

"What? I didn't do anything… he tripped over his own feet." His smirk was there again.

"Are you ok, Rox?" Sora asked, trying to help me up. "Is your arm ok? Did you fall on it?

"Yea I fell on my wrist and it hurts…" We asked Coach Luxord if we could go to the nurse's office, and of course, he let us. Sora put an arm around my waist and walked me towards the office.

"I hope your wrist isn't broken!"

"Me too, Sora…" I sighed. "Thank you for helping me."

"No problem! What are friends for?" He smiled.

_A/N: Review! ^-^ _


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